


Bathtub Lifeguard

by Cerulean_city_girl



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Porn Parody, Sexual Humor, awkward role playing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 09:24:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9228680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerulean_city_girl/pseuds/Cerulean_city_girl
Summary: Viktor proposes a new year's resolution that he and Yuuri should try role playing in the bedroom. Yuuri never imagined that Viktor's fantasies would involve him being a lifeguard.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [viktornikiforov-official.tumblr.com](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=viktornikiforov-official.tumblr.com).



> translations:
> 
> Da: yes (in Russian)
> 
> Vitya: Viktor (in Russian)
> 
> Qué chingados: What the fuck (in Spanish)
> 
>  
> 
> This story is based on the ridiculous porn parody you can easily find on youtube: 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BlYUBZCCmE

     Yuuri sighed as he stood naked on a cold marble floor. Viktor had mentioned wanting to experiment in the bedroom as his new year's resolution. He looked at himself in the mirror, trying to convince himself that Viktor’s idea wasn't in fact a dumb one. “Are you sure you want to try this tonight?” he asked his husband who was changing in the other room.  
“Da! You know how long I've wanted to try roleplaying with you!” Viktor called back to his lover.  
Yuuri sighed once again, smoothing his hair back and cleaning his glasses on a nearby towel. “But do we really have to do this? It seems a little….embarrassing,” whined Yuuri.

     Viktor entered the bathroom wear a bright red one piece swimsuit and holding a lifebuoy. He strut across the bathroom, swinging the lifebuoy across his shoulders.  
“Where the hell did you get that thing?!” exclaimed Yuuri looking at the lifesaving device.  
“Oh, this? I used it back when I modeled for the summer edition of Skater’s Monthly,” explained Viktor.  
“That doesn't really explain why you have it,” said Yuuri unamused.  
“The crew accidentally left it behind, and i held onto it. Plus i figured I'd use it one day since Yurio can't swim. But i never thought I'd be using it to save my sexy Katsudon from a watery death,” said Viktor smiling.

    “Never thought I'd see you referring to my death while smiling,” commented Yuuri with a sour look on his face. “Besides, you've explained everything except what you're planning on doing with it. I'm not having sex on that thing.”  
“This? No no no, this is just for show,” Viktor elaborated setting the buoy on the sink. “I like to make things as authentic as possible when we roleplay.”  
“But do we really need a whistle? What's the whistle for?” argued Yuuri.  
“Come on Yuratchka. Humor me. Just try it,” encouraged Viktor. “If you hate it, I'll set aside the gimmicks and we'll regroup in the bedroom.  
“Fine,” Yuuri huffed.

    Yuuri cautiously stepped into the bathtub and sat in the warm bubble-filled water. Ordinarily, Yuuri would have been relaxed by the vanilla scented bubble bath and the rubber duck the bobbed along the small waves. However, this time he felt tense, worrying about underperforming while role-playing.  
Sensing this, Viktor walked behind Yuuri and kissed the top of his head. “Don't worry. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, I'll stop,” he promised. Yuuri nodded.  
Viktor took a deep breath, preparing himself for his role as the lifeguard. He then grabbed the lifebuoy from the counter and sat on the edge of the tub.

     

      “I see you don't have a lifeguard here at your beach,” Viktor said, propping his leg up along the edge of the tub.  
Yuuri, feeling ridiculous yet nervous about role playing, stammered out the first thing that came to his mind. “I'm-I'm not at the beach, this is a bathtub,” he informed Viktor with an incredulous look upon his face.  
Viktor, slightly annoyed by Yuuri’s lack of commitment to his role, ignored him and pressed forward. His ran his through his silvery long locs. _Oh boy, this is going to be harder than i thought. Work with me here,_ thought Viktor.  
“No body of water is safe without a lifeguard,” he flirted, raising his eyebrows and smirking at Yuuri.  
“But this is a bathtub. It's two feet deep, sir. What are you doing here?” asked Yuuri.

 

    “You can relax,” Viktor assured him smiling. “You're safe now. You're lifeguard his here,” he purred.  
“Okay….” replied Yuuri awkwardly. He didn't really know where to go from there. Choosing the safest (least embarrassing) option, he leaned back into the bathtub to soak his aching muscles. Unfortunately for Yuuri, Viktor had other plans. First he ran his hand through the water, creating  
small, gentle waves in the tub. Then, he grabbed the whistle hanging from his neck and blew it.  
“Out of the water! There's a shark!” Viktor shouted at the top of his lungs.  
“What?!” blurted Yuuri, taken aback by the sudden change of pace. He felt himself jump upon hearing the whistle echo through the bathroom.  
“A shark?!” Yuuri exclaimed, feigning excitement. He climbed out of the bathtub, bubbles clinging to his skin. _Why is he doing this?_ He thought. _I feel so stupid._ _And cold._ “Shark? There's no shark in the bathtub,” he argued.  
_He's horrible at this, but I'm just going to roll with it,_ Viktor thought. “Aren't you glad you had a lifeguard here to save you,” replied Viktor dazzling Yuuri with a smile. He leaned in to place passionate kisses upon his husband's lips and neck.  
“I guess,” said Yuuri, out of breath from making out. “You should go. There's really no reason for you to be here. This _is_ just a bathtub,” Yuuri teasingly.

   

      “I think I should stay and I think we should have sex,” offered Viktor. He pulled Yuuri close, giving him his best bedroom eyes.  
“...Okay,” Yuuri blushed, not expecting his lover to be so straightforward. “Are we really going to do it in the bathtub though? There's that moisturizing soap in there and I feel like it would burn,” Yuuri pointed out.  
“The tub was just for show to be honest. Let's take this to the bedroom,” Viktor said grabbing his lover's hand.  
“What about the laptop? Don't you want to hear your island getaway playlist while we make love?” Yuuri asked.  
“I think I'd rather hear you moaning with pleasure,” flirted Viktor picking Yuuri up bridal style and carrying him off to the bedroom. When he approached the bed, he laid Yuuri down gently and put a hand up to his neck. “It looks like you need CPR,” he declared, cradling Yuuri’s cheek in his hands before gently kissing his lips. “And I’ll have to check your vitals too,” he said softly, running his hand over Yuuri’s hard cock.  
“I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t of saved me from that shark infested water,” Yuuri praised him. “Vitya, take me.”

 

    Phichit looked up from his laptop with a satisfied smile upon his face. “Almost done with my friend-fiction,” he muttered to himself.  
“What are you writing?” asked Leo, looking at the screen over Phichit's shoulders. “Qué chingados? Dear God! This is creepy! Why would you write this?!”  
Guang Hong read a few lines on the screen and blushed. “I need bleach. For my eyes,” he commented.  
“They're my muse,” replied Phichit nonchalantly.  
“And you're okay with this?!” Leo called to Yuuri in the other room.  
“Okay with what?” asked Yuuri curiously as he entered the room.  
“Phichit writing Yuuri/Viktor smut,” explained Leo.  
“What?! You told me you stopped!” Yuuri argued with Phichit.  
“I did. For that night. Say what you will, but the fans love it,” smiled Phichit, posting his story online before anyone could stop him.  
“Please don't tell me you a wrote friend-fiction about us,” cringed Guang Hong, referring to Leo and himself.  
“Okay, I won't,” smirked Phichit closing his laptop and running off with it down the hallway.  
“Phichit! Phichit, come back here!” yelled Leo chasing after him. “We know where you live!”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to viktornikiforov-official.tumblr.com for the idea. I was high on cold meds when I wrote this. So....sorry. I'm still high on cold meds though (this flu is slowly murdering me).


End file.
